Stories/ 谐铎/ The Man in the Coin-Hole

The Man in the Coin-Hole

财戒

SourceXieduo (Harmonious Warnings)
AuthorShen Qifeng
EraQing dynasty · Qianlong era, c. 1736–1798
Writtenc. 1790
SatireMagicMorality
A giant copper coin stands in a temple courtyard with a man wedged headfirst in its square hole while a stranger looks on, ink-wash painting
Illustration generated by AI, based on the ancient Chinese text.

At the City God temple of Lu’an prefecture in Shanxi there lodged a strange guest who called himself Master of the Five Peaks. By his accent he was a man of the Yan-Zhao country, and every day he amused himself by turning the flowers and trees of the four seasons upside down.

One day the busybodies of the neighbourhood gathered and asked him for a show.

He said: “Good.”

He took a copper cash from his sleeve, set it on edge in the courtyard, and made a talisman-writing pass with two fingers. In a moment the coin was as big as a cart-wheel. They all marvelled.

“A certain Master Cheng Lian is waiting for me by the sea. I must go. I will be back in the morning.”

At parting he pointed at the coin, laughing: “This thing is enjoyment to whoever has the fortune for it, and disaster to whoever has not. Do none of you look lightly at it.” And he went, and the crowd drifted away.

There was a certain rascal called Yu who hung about until night, stroking it a long while. Then he peeped through the hole of the coin — and inside were jewelled towers and kingfisher pavilions, embroidered rails and patterned windows, glass screens and coral couches, pearls and jades and precious toys, nothing lacking. Presently several beauties came flying in, in five-shu robes and light gauze skirts, bright pendants at their girdles, each carrying a musical instrument of a kind not known to the zithers and flutes of this world.

One said: “The Purple Cloud Returns suite has not been played since Ahuan stole it away. Shall we set it in order?”

They spread a carpet on the ground and played. When it was done: “Aman’s pretty bearing is unmatched in her generation. Let her give us the bending-waist dance.”

One beauty stood dumb, seeming unwilling. The others laughed: “Silly girl — ridden hard by young Master Bai, and her waist has thickened!” The girl blushed and shook out her sleeves and danced; and the peach petals at the courtyard’s edge came down in a rustle like red rain.

The rascal, at the coin-hole, first only put his head in; then, warming to it, and without noticing, he shifted his body forward as far as the waist.

At once there was an angry shout from the hall: “What filthy slave is this, peeping into the women’s quarters!”

Everything scattered, and not one storey of those towers remained. And he felt the coin-hole shrinking, gripping him all round below the waist: he could not go forward, he could not draw back, and where it gripped him the pain was past bearing. He screamed for help. The whole neighbourhood came running to stare, and none could think of a way to get him out.

At dawn the stranger came back, and said in anger: “You starveling. One pauper’s skeleton, and you lusted after the beauty of palaces and the service of wives and concubines — to the point of boring your way through a cash-hole and landing in trouble at every move. The evil is of your own making. You cannot be saved.”

They all pleaded for him.

“In the world, propriety, righteousness, integrity and shame — wine, lust, wealth and anger — are like the Marquis of Wu’s Eightfold Battle Formation. Integrity is the live gate; wealth is the dead gate. He went in by the dead gate. Do you expect him to come out by the live one?”

The rascal wept aloud at this. The stranger laughed.

“You have a heart that repents. Perhaps you can be pulled out.”

He took up a great brush, dipped it in ink, and painted over the coin-hole to bring him out. The coin at once shrank to its old size, and he put it back in his sleeve.

He said to the man: “For now, a brush has granted you life. Hereafter, do not hold your own life cheap for the sake of a single cash.”

The man knocked his head in thanks and went off with the rest. To this day there are temple keepers who can tell the story.

The Duo comment: The lofty hermit buys his mountain; the talented man flatters the dead for a epitaph fee. Even one as clean as Liu Chong would still pick out the largest cash to accept — how much more the man whose hobby is like He Qiao’s? And yet, look at the round-coin law of the Nine Treasuries: the outer circle images heaven, the inner square images earth. Then to bore through a cash-hole — how is that different from burying your head in hell? A spring can drown you; a blade can kill you. Even so to draw the comparison is to make it seem distant.

Original classical Chinese text · 原文

山西潞安府城隍庙,寓一奇客,自称五岳子。审其音,类燕赵间人,日颠倒四时花木以为戏。 一日,里中好事者环请作剧。客曰:“诺。”袖中出青钱一枚,侧插庭际,骈两指作书符状。须臾,钱大如车轮,群异之。客曰:“适成连子迟予海上,当暂去,明晨复来。”临行,指钱笑曰:“此物有福则享,无福则殃,尔等勿轻觑也。”遂去。众亦渐散。 有无赖于某,排徊至夜,摩挲良久,潜从钱孔中窥之,见其内琼楼翠阁,绣槛文窗,琉璃屏、珊瑚榻,珠玉宝玩,无不具备。俄有数美人衣五铢衣,曳轻縠裙,明珰玉佩,翩然而来。手各携乐器一具,不似世所传筝琶笛板者。亡何,一美人曰:“《紫云回乐府》自阿环盗去,久不复奏矣!盍理之。”众曰:“诺。”于是展氍毹席地而奏。奏毕,曰:“阿蛮娇态,独步一时,请更作折腰舞可乎?”一美人痴立,似未允者。众笑曰:“痴婢子被白家郎驰骤,腰围粗却矣!”美人面发赪,勉强振袖而舞。庭前桃瓣簌簌,如红雨堕。某在钱孔中,初扰探首入,后渐入佳境,不觉移身逼近腰际。忽闻堂上嗔喝声曰:“何宋龌龊奴,窥人闺闼!”哄然尽散。而重楼叠阁,无一存者。某觉钱孔渐小,四面束住腰下,欲进不能,欲退不可。而束处痛极难忍,狂声呼救。里中群起环视,无计可出。 天晓,客复来,嗔曰:“寒乞儿,汝一介穷骨,妄觊宫室之美、妻妾之奉,以至钻穿钱孔,动辄得咎,孽由自作,不可活矣!”众代为哀免。客曰:“天地间,礼义廉耻,酒色财气,如武候八阵图,廉为生门,财为死门。渠已从死门而入,尚望从生门而出耶?”某闻言大哭。客笑曰:“汝有悔悟心,或可救拔。”因取巨笔蘸墨,涂钱孔而出之。钱顿小如故,仍纳诸袖中。谓某曰:“暂尔笔下超生,后此勿为一钱不惜命也。”某叩谢随众而去。至今庙祝,犹有能言其事者。 铎曰:“高士买山,才人谀墓,即廉如刘宠,犹必选大钱纳之,矧癖同和峤者耶?然考九府圜法,外圆象天,内方象地,则钻穿钱孔,何异埋头地狱?泉可溺身,刀能杀命。以是取譬,犹以为远。”

From 《财戒》, Xieduo. A magician grows a cash coin to wheel-size; a rogue climbs into the hole after the palace inside it and is trapped at the waist.

Source. From Xieduo (Harmonious Warnings) (谐铎), by Shen Qifeng , c. 1790. The original text is in the public domain; this English rendering and the accompanying notes are original work.

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