Stories/ 谐铎/ The Maid Who Caught the Bullets

The Maid Who Caught the Bullets

青衣捕盗

SourceXieduo (Miscellaneous Bell)
AuthorShen Qifeng
EraQing dynasty · c. 1790
Writtenc. 1790
HeroesMarvelsVengeance
A maid in a blue dress riding at the head of a column in a dark jujube grove, catching flying pellets in her fingers and teeth while a bandit with an iron staff recoils, ink wash painting
Illustration generated by AI, based on the ancient Chinese text.

A certain gentleman of eastern Guangdong was provincial judge of Hetang. A man named Nie had been falsely condemned in a capital case, and the judge cleared his name; in gratitude the man offered his daughter Shuer as a maid. The judge, recognising the sincerity of the offer, accepted her.

His lady was strict with the household: beyond broom and dust, she set the girl to needlework. Shuer could not learn it, was whipped daily, and only bowed her head and endured.

Later the judge was implicated in a fault and dismissed, returning home. In the jujube grove there were two bandit chiefs: “Second to Zhang Qing,” Liu Biao, skilled with meteor-pellets, five fired at once, never missing; and “Iron-Crutch,” Zhu Jian, who wielded an iron staff and had once smashed the stone drum before the temple of the True Warrior to powder. They ravaged the greenwood, and the thief-takers dared not look them in the eye. The judge knew them and travelled with precautions.

It was nearly dusk when a whistling arrow sounded in the grove. The judge’s thighs trembled and his lady’s face was the colour of earth. Every attendant and guard changed colour.

Shuer stepped forward calmly. “How dare such rats molest your Excellency’s carriage? If they do not wish to live, I can kill them for you.” She begged for his leading horse and rode out empty-handed.

“Dog-slaves!” she shouted. “Do you know Nie Shuer of Henan?”

The bandits laughed. “We want money and notes. What use is a book to us?”

“Your hour has come,” she cried, “and you dare jest!”

Enraged, a bandit loosed a pellet; Shuer caught it between two fingers of her right hand. Another flew; she took it with her left. A third came, and she met it with a smile and held it in her teeth. Alarmed, he fired again; Shuer lay back along her horse’s neck and trapped the pellet between her insteps in play. The fifth came, and she sent one of her own from her foot to meet it — it rang out and dropped thirty paces away. She sprang up, spat the pellet from her mouth, and laughed: “Is that the whole of your art, you slave?”

One bandit unhooked his iron staff and came at her; Shuer took it from him, bent it into three or four loops, kneaded it like soft cotton, and threw it on the ground. “Your mother’s kitchen stick,” she laughed, “and you bring it to frighten people with?”

Both bandits lost their colour. Shuer then took the pellets from her hands and fired left and right, and both were dead. The rest of the bandits prostrated themselves before the horse and begged for their lives. “You are not worth dirtying my hand,” she said, and ordered them off.

She rode back unhurried and reported: “By your Excellency’s protection, I have not disgraced your mission.” The judge and his lady were astonished, and asked why, possessing such skill, she could not hold a needle.

“Long spears and great swords I had handled since I was eleven or twelve,” she said. “A needle in my hand, I do not know what the object is — that is why I could not learn it.”

They asked why she had simply bowed her head under the whip. “My late father sent me to repay your husband’s great kindness. To resent a small beating would be to repay kindness with resentment — how would I dare?”

His lady was pleased too. On returning home she urged the judge to take Shuer as a concubine. She bore a son who later became a magistrate in southern Yunnan, and who would lead his own officers into the hills to arrest bandits — very much in his mother’s style.

Original classical Chinese text · 原文

青衣捕盗 粤东某公,为河塘臬宪。有聂姓者,以人命诬服,公昭雪之,献女书儿为婢。公鉴其诚,纳之。公夫人御下严,箕帚而外,课以针指。书儿不能学,日加鞭挞,俯首顺受而已。后公以挂误,解组归。时枣树林有盗首曰赛张青刘标,善用流星弹,一发五丸,无不奇中。次日铁拐子朱健,善用一铁拐,曾击真武殿前石鼓,碎若粉。横行绿林,捕盗者不敢正眼觑。公稔之,戒备而行。时已薄暮,闻林中鸣镝声,公股栗,夫人色如土。侍从仆御,无不色变。书儿从容进曰:"么么鼠辈,何敢犯大人驾?如渠不欲生,婢子手戮之可也。"乞公前骑,徒手而去。叱盗曰:"贼狗奴,识得河南聂书儿否?"盗笑曰:"我辈但要得钱儿钞儿,书儿何所用哉!"书儿怒曰:"若辈死期至矣,敢戏言!"盗亦怒,骤发一弹,书儿右手启两指接之;又一弹,接以左手;第三弹至,以口笑迎之,噙以齿。盗惊,又发一弹,书儿仰卧马背,以双莲瓣戏夹其丸。第五弹至,书儿即发脚下丸抵之,铿然有声,去三十步远。腾身而起,吐口中丸,大笑曰:"贼奴技止此耶?"一盗解铁拐而前,书儿手夺之,曲作三四,盘揉若软绵,掷诸地,笑曰:"尔娘灶下棒,亦持来恐吓人,大可笑也。"两盗失色。书儿即出手中丸,左右弹,两盗尽毙。群盗罗拜马前乞命。书儿曰:"汝等何足污我手。"喝令去。从容回骑,禀白于公曰:"托大人福庇,幸不辱命。"公及夫人皆异之。继而问曰:"汝具此妙技,何不能拈一针?"书儿曰:"长枪大剑,婢子年十一二时,搏弄惯矣。一针入手,不知作何物,是以不能学耳。"又问:"鞭挞时何便俯首受?"曰:"老父命婢子来报公大德,小有忤犯,是报怨也,婢子何敢!"于是夫人亦喜。归家后,劝公纳为侧室。生子某,后为滇南县令,往往躬牵吏入山捕盗,大有母风焉! 铎曰:"吾向读《冯暖传》,而知当日无薛债之役。客无能一语,至今几成铁案。英雄寄人篱下,毕生无可插脚,恐为厮养辈下眼觑耳!书儿遇盗,其厚幸乎?"

From 《青衣捕盗》, Xieduo. Translated in full. 臬宪 is the provincial judge; 挂误 means to be implicated in a fault and dismissed; 鸣镝 is a whistling arrow; 流星弹 is a sling-pellet weapon, five fired at once; 莲瓣 means the insteps of her feet. 青衣 is the blue dress of a maid-servant, hence the title. 铎曰 is Shen Qifeng's closing comment.

Source. From Xieduo (Miscellaneous Bell) (谐铎), by Shen Qifeng , c. 1790. The original text is in the public domain; this English rendering and the accompanying notes are original work.

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